People and their pets, the most messed up things to do

OK, so lots of people have pets. And of those lots of people, a vast majority would say they love their pets. However, there are a wacky few who mean that in a different way than you or I would. You know, the people most likely to end up on Animal Cops on Animal Planet for doing very un-nice things. Well, here are some tales of such people.

• First, we have the tale of a man killed by a horse. Of course, people are killed sometimes by animals, and while this is sad, it generally doesn’t make the news all over the world. This case is a bit different, however, as this man was killed by internal injuries received while having sex with a horse. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that one doesn’t have internal injuries from the giving end of that equation.

  And honestly, the funniest thing in this story to me comes from the newspaper that ran the story and posted information about it on their web site:

  As I look back at the year in news, it’s clear I should have focused more on people having sex with horses.

  That’s the conclusion I reach after reviewing a new list of the year’s top local news stories. Only this list is not the usual tedious recounting by news editors or pundits who profess to speak for you readers. This is the people’s-choice list.

  It’s not a survey of what news you say you read.

  It’s what you actually read.

  By tallying clicks on our Web site, we now chart the most read stories in the online edition of The Seattle Times. Software then sorts the tens of thousands of stories for 2005 and ranks them. Not by importance, impact or poetic lyricism, but by which stories compelled the most people to put finger to mouse, click, open and, presumably, read.

  Which brings me back to sex with horses. The story last summer about the man who died from a perforated colon while having sex with a horse in Enumclaw was by far the year’s most read article.

  What’s more, four more of the year’s 20 most clicked-upon local news stories were about the same horse-sex incident. We don’t publish our Web-traffic numbers, but take it from me – the total readership on these stories was huge.

• Next, we have a story of a pedophile who apparently got caught due to video of him having sex with a 9-year old and with a pomeranian (not at the same time). Thankfully, this story at least focuses on the child-abuse aspect. But still I have to ask – a pomeranian? Have you seen how little those dogs are? This guy is eff’ed up on so many levels. Sadly, he might have even not been caught had his girlfriend not been pressured by other people to report him, since she willingly said nothing about the event until friends told her she had to.
• And finally, the story that made me think I should post this oddity article – a man is charged with felony animal cruelty for having sex with his dog. This time, the wife took pictures and showed them to the sheriff. Well done, ma’am.
  

  McPhail’s wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Wednesday night having intercourse with their 4-year-old female pit bull terrier, the Pierce County sheriff’s office report said. The dog was squealing and crying, according to charging papers.

  The woman took photos with her cell phone and called the sheriff’s office. And this story actually ties in with the first, as the felony law was passed after a man had died from internal injuries received while having sex with a horse.

[tags]The wrongness of pet sexual abuse, Some people are just eff’ed up[/tags]