We’re all stupid at some point in our lives. Simple things like putting batteries in the correct way sometimes eludes even the best of us. But when you are going to rob a bank, be sure to use your smartest brain cells.
He told the teller not to do anything stupid.
Too bad the bank robber didn’t take his own advice.
After he robbed a Bank of America on West Hillsborough Avenue last December, court records say, Etni Ortiz left his resume behind — dropped it, actually, when the bank’s dye pack exploded. Police found it outside the bank in a pile of dye-stained money. There were also photos, one of Ortiz. The picture, too, was stained with red dye.
Nine days later, Ortiz robbed First State Bank at 5700 Clark Road in Sarasota, according to documents on file in U.S. District Court.
Well, so much for that spree. I think the resume is a stroke of genius in a way, though. Now, someone can help him properly update it so he can find a better job. They probably will also coach him to leave “Failed bank-robber” off the skills section, though. Maybe just put something like “Escaped bank premises with over $3000 in two robberies” without highlighting the getting caught nor leaving behind a resume bit. Hell, this makes me think I should start a bad criminal resume writing service.
[tags]Stupid criminals, Stupid, Bank robbery, Idiot, Moron, Resume writing skills, Dumb crook, Stupid robber[/tags]
Heck, I’m impressed that he had a résumé!