Category: Humor

50 worst game names ever

You see them, and you wonder WTF the marketing folks were thinking. For example:

wild_woody.jpg#45 – Wild Woody – Wild Woody was also the the star of this game, a bright yellow No. 2 pencil that threw sticks of dynamite. Welcome to the mascot graveyard.


and

princess_tomato.gif#43 – Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom – And then pretty much just skip the salad course, because this vegetable-themed adventure game had no meat. On the other hand, you gotta see the melons on that tomato.


Just a small taste of all the horrible goodness that is bad gaming naming.  Some more possibly unintentional p0rn names made the list for the games.
[tags]Worse games names, Bad names for games[/tags]

Scott Adams, man of the perfect comparison

A friend recently shared with me the link to Scott Adams’ (of Dilbert fame) blog post discussing regaining his voice after 18 months being unable to converse in a normal tone.  Recently, Scott posted another article which included a comment about all the traffic and feedback he’s gotten on that article.  Going from 25,000 hits a day to around 180,000 hits a day had a profound effect on him.  So profound, in fact, that he made one of the best quotes ever on how this reaction has affected him.

I am more touched than a congressional page.

That’s quality writing you just won’t get from the big networks.

[tags]Scott Adams, Congressional pages[/tags]

Slow swimmers

Here’s a comic I got from a co-worker.  I don’t know where he got it.  If someone points the way, I’ll be glad to throw out a link to the original location.

slow_sperm.jpg

[tags]Slow swimmers, How much further, Are we there yet?, Just past the tonsils[/tags]

The alphabet of manliness

OK, when I get a chance to update my Gift ideas page, I’m adding Maddox’ book “The Alphabet of Manliness” (or search Amazon for ISBN #080652720X if the link is broken) to the list. I recently got to see a few pages from the book and decided this is something I must have. Now understand – I’m not actually manly enough to live up to the book’s guidance, but I am at least manly enough to read the book without hurting myself. How can you not love a book that starts “A is for Ass-kicking” anyway?

maddox-manliness.jpgThe phrase “Ass-Kicking” has changed over the years from its humble origin as the union of one’s foot with another person’s ass, to the expression today that has nothing with asses, or even kicking. The picture at the beginning of this section epitomizes ass kicking. Time for a pop quiz: What’s more awesome than a lumberjack smashing Santa in the face? (A) Nothing or (B) All of the above. I gave this quiz to my friend’s wife, and she got the wrong answer. She kept asking questions like “what’s so cool about Santa getting punched in the face? That’s not cool, that’s mean.”


In the Ass-Kicking section alone, one learns the proper way to perform the cock punch (2 different styles), the dropkick to the face (no pansy tosskicking here – drop the target and kick the face), plain-old punch to the mouth, head-butt to the ovaries, and much more – all with illustrations. And yes, it’s a humor book, so don’t get too worried about the described content.

Buy this book for me and help me improve my manliness, which will in turn improve my natural awesomeness. It’s only $10 for a far greater return in my own greatness. Come on – you know you want to. 🙂

[tags]The alphabet of Manliness, Maddox on manliness[/tags]

I wish Google would

061021_no_big_google_offer.gif

I totally feel this kid’s pain. I wish Google would pay $1.6 billion for my web site, too. I suppose I probably need a bit more quality, content, and viewership before I can get that, though.

[tags]bLaugh, I wish Google would, Google doesn’t want to buy you today[/tags]

You taste like bacon

Let me be the first to say that I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

baconbot.jpg

In an early preview of the future of humanity comes this response from robots: you taste like bacon. Don’t forget this when the robots take over the world.

So, apparently the guys at NEC thought it would be cool to make a wine-tasting robot. The robot — pictured above — fires a beam of light into the wine, and then uses an infrared spectrometer to analyze the reflection. It studies the chemical composition of the wine and delivers an instant verdict about how good it is.

. . .

But the NEC guys decided to show off the robot to the media, and that’s when it revealed its morbid secret. As the Associated Press reports:

Continue reading “You taste like bacon”

The ultimate green case mod?

Do you do case mods on your computer? Although I haven’t done any lately, I do mod work when I have time (in fact, I’m about to work on a purple case for a good friend who is fighting cancer right now). I love showing off my case mods when I can. Most modders I know do. However, here is one modder who I am pretty sure didn’t show off his modding work to many people. It’s in polish, but here’s the image and an idea of why police cared about this mod: Continue reading “The ultimate green case mod?”

Barbies ideas that didn’t make it

This is an idea I had way back that I asked for some input from co-workers to build.  Most of the ideas came from them, with just a couple from me.  I have others that were suggested, but I’ve lost them over time or felt they were a bit more than I cared to post.  I try to keep the site from going to over the edge.  I believe the others who contributed thought this would never get posted.  I kept meaning to add more models, but never got back and always forgot my good ideas by the time I did.
Oh, and yes, I expect someone, somewhere, will be offended by this.  To which I say, I’m truly, truly, very much unconcerned with your inability to have a sense of humor with a dark side.

  • Crack-addict Barbie – With vacant eyes, overly pale complexion, and waifish figure
  • Meth-lab Barbie – With singed eyebrows and jittery eyes
  • Anorexia Barbie – With binge and purge scheduling calendar and journal
  • Back-door Barbie – With bendable joints for authentic positions and an extra tube of lube
  • MILF Barbie – a regular barbie with 2 smaller Barbie children
  • Internet chat Barbie – Barbie voice box in a authentic looking 40 year old balding fat man
  • She-male Barbie – With large breasts and, adam’s apple, and male genitals

[tags]Barbie ideas that didn’t make it, Meth-lab Barbie and more[/tags]