Category: Humor

Worth1000 beta games photochop

If you are a gamer with a sense of humor, you really need to check out the latest Worth1000 Beta Busts photochopping contest.  I’m still working my way through all the entries, but this contest looks to have the highest ratio of good to meh submissions I’ve seen yet on the site.  Such entries and Mario Kombat, Final Fantasy XXX (a must see cover), Ratchet and Frank (Zappa’s got your back), Super Mario Bloodlust, and more.  There are pages and pages of entries, and most are worth seeing.

The beta version is the test version of the video game….the way it was intended by the video game designers before the big studio calls for changes.

The rules of this game are thus:
You are to take a still, box or ad from a video game and edit it so as to represent a version of the game that never made it to the consumer. It might be helpful to briefly discuss the original game in your author’s comments for people who never heard of it. As always, quality is a must. We will remove poor entries no matter how much we like you. You’ll have 48 hours for this contest, so make your submissions count.

And here are a couple of the entries.  Check out the full contest to see the other great games.

chlamydia-clip.jpg

w1000-halo-kitty.jpg

[tags]Worth1000, Beta Busts, Photochopping, Photochops[/tags]

Light gets tired, slows down – perhaps an old age issue?

While some people might try to tell you that light is subject to the doppler effect, the authors of this article from the November 1932 issue of Modern Mechanix magazine know otherwise. The reality is, after travelling for centuries and centuries to reach earth, the light is tired, and slows down as a result. My theory is the light just wants to stop and smell the roses, seeing how Earth is the only planet around that has roses. Now I can’t confirm that Earth is the only nearby planet with roses, but I’ve got a pretty strong conviction on this.

mm_red_shift2.jpg

THAT light rays get tired as they travel for millions of years through space, fritter away a little of themselves century by century and end by changing color so that rays which started as blue ones may finish by becoming red is suggested by scientists. Astronomers have discovered that light rays coming to the earth from the most distant nebulae actually show what is called the “red shift,” which means the light from these nebulae is shifted a little toward the red end of the spectrum. What may be happening is that each tiny bit of each light ray may lose a small fraction of its substance as it moves through space.

As pointed out on the Modern Mechanix web page, the concept of stars moving away from Earth, thereby causing red-shift, was known and used as early as 1868 for measuring the velocity of stars movement away from us. So who knows why these people used this article, as it could already be shown as nonsense at the time.

[tags]Modern Mechanix, Light gets tired, doppler effect, red-shift[/tags]

Be an expert on anything

This recent Wired.com article is a guide from (Dr.) Stephen Colbert on how to be an expert on anything.  Mainly, the way to be recognized as an expert is to assert that you are an expert.  Here’s a few tips.

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN’T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don’t. We can’t question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

I’ve worked in security.  So I have a leg up on most folks, I guess.

CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT’S ACTUALLY SECRET. Dan Brown invented a secret subject for The Da Vinci Code, so now he is forever an expert on this secret subject that no one can challenge. Anybody who attacks the secret subject is, by definition, part of the cabal.

Even better.  I’m not sure what I can pick, but I’ll make a note here when I choose my secret specialty.

SPEAK FROM THE BALLS, NOT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM. In the expert game, you’ve got to have sack. That means speaking with confidence. In America, you’ve got to steer clear of nuance and ambivalence – and don’t even contemplate doubt.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qualified to.

There are more tips in the article.  So go learn how to be an expert.

[tags]Be an expert on anything, Stephen Colbert[/tags]

Boring, boring, boring, OMGWTF??!?!?!

While reading BluesNews this morning, I came across a couple of daily media links he had.  I hit the first one, called “Merry Go Round of Terror” and started watching the video.  It’s about a minute long, and honestly, while watching it, I kept thinking “Blue, why did you waste my time with this?”  That said, go watch it now, think the same thing, and then in the last 4 seconds of the video you’ll probably be like me and go “OMGWTF?!?!?!?” or something like that.

[tags]Daily Media, Videos, Merry Go Round of Terror, OMGWTF??!?!?![/tags]