Category: Humor

Prepare to meet your next President

I’m not sure what to say about this. I think this guy would get my vote. He may be a bit unorthodox, but he does have a way of getting things done. From his campaign site:

zodportrait.jpgWhen I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

Thanks to an online gaming friend for pointing out this site to me. I doubt I ever would have stumbled on this on my own.

[tags]Zod for president, 2008 elections, Kneel before me[/tags]

New gaming comic I’m watching

While checking hooked-20060718-clip.jpgout a recent Joystiq’s weekly comic wrap-up, I saw a link I hadn’t seen (or at least hadn’t paid attention to) before – Hooked on Polygon. Based on the first comic I saw, concerning Peter Jackson and the Halo movie, I’m going to keep visiting. The why and wherefor of this comic:

Okay so today’s comic is inspired by last week’s Denzel Washington scare. Apparently someone somewhere saw Mr. Washington and Peter Jackson having a meeting. From that single sighting, it was obvious that Denzel MUST be cast as Master Chief in the HALO movie. I mean, what else could they be talking about, right?

After reading that, I starting thinking about other scenarios little Petey Jackson could be seen in, and possibly transformed into a HALO movie rumor nugget.

Then I picked the best ideas in my noggin and drew them. It’s funny, because the panels that you see above look EXACTLY like the scenes in my head as they played out, except cartoon-ized. It doesn’t always work that way.

And I think that’s a pretty accurate portrayal of much of the blogosphere.

[tags]Hooked on Polygon, Web comics, Peter Jackson, Halo movie[/tags]

Worth1000 – Urban legends photochopping

As you can probably guess from my frequent posts about contests there, I think Worth1000 is an awesome site. Their latest contest that I thought was worth pointing out is an Urban Legends recreation contest.

w1000-bonsai-kittens.jpg

Is Walt Disney really cryogenically frozen in ice? It’s a fact. Do alligators really live in the New York sewers? Yup. Did a couple on lovers lane really find a hook embedded in their car after hearing a radio advisory of an escaped “hook” murderer? Sure. And we’ve got the pictures to prove it.

The rules of this game are thus:
Show that an urban legend exists by creating an image that is “proof,”. You can find some great urban legends at Snopes.com. If you choose to do a macabre urban legend then try to keep the gore level to a minimum. As always, quality is a must. You’ll have 48 hours for this contest, so make your submission count.

Like so many Worth1000 contests, there are a lot of bad entries.  But all of them are better than I can do, and the good ones, to me, are always worth the time they take to track down and view.
[tags]Worth1000, Urban Legends, Photochop[/tags]

Compensate for your shortcomings

Ahhhh, another brilliant Worth1000 contest. This recently ended contest challenged photochoppers to make up fake ads for real products. Some of them just make me laugh too hard to function. For example, the following, advertising a product I’d like but will never get precisely because I think people view it as this ad shows:
hummer-shortcomings.jpg

[tags]Worth1000, Hummer, Your shortcomings[/tags]

Ted Nugent comments on the French

(via Snopes)
If you know anything about Ted Nugent, the following bit from an interview he did with a British journalist won’t surprise you.

And yes, he did make the comment in a May 2006 interview conducted by a British journalist Robert Chalmers for The Independent on Sunday, the expanded Sunday version of the UK newspaper The Independent:

“What do these deer think when they see you coming?” I ask him. “Here comes the nice guy who puts out our dinner? Or, there’s the man that shot my brother?”

“I don’t think they’re capable of either of those thoughts, you Limey asshole. They’re only interested in three things: the best place to eat, having sex and how quickly they can run away. Much like the French.”

Internet-spread versions of this exchange have changed the interviewer’s nationality from British to French to position the rocker’s observation as an even greater slap-down.

[tags]Ted Nugent[/tags]

CNN and the war

Two US Marines are listening to the radio in Iraq.

“American soldiers,” coos a soft female voice, “Your so-called national Leaders have lied to you. You are needlessly risking your lives to wage A useless, unjust, illegal, and unwinnable war. Now is the time to return home to your loved ones, while you are still alive. If you foolishly insist on remaining where you are not wanted, the brave resistance fighters will have no choice but to kill you and add your name to the long ever-increasing casualty list of this insane war. So why risk never seeing your loved ones again for a so-called president who has repeatedly lied and deceived you at every opportunity? Why should you be sacrificed so that US corporations can enjoy fatter profits? The only wise thing to do is return home now, while you are still drawing breath, before you return zippered into a bodybag.”

“What’s this?” sneers one Marine. “An Islamo-terrorist version of Tokyo Rose?”

“No,” answers the other. “It’s just CNN!”

I’m no fan of the war, but that’s just funny.  And perhaps a bit too accurate a portrayal of CNN.

[tags]Iraqi war, CNN, Humor[/tags]