Category: Stupid

Men – hide your stash of pr0n better than this guy

Pr0n! One of the driving factors in the growth of the intarpipes, I am certain. Fantasy get-away for many men. For one man, however, it was only a sure-fire method to peeve the old-lady and suffer a serious hurting.

A Chicago woman who became enraged after discovering her longtime boyfriend’s stash of pornography shot and killed him in their South Side home over the weekend, prosecutors said.

. . .

Strowder and Martin had lived together in the 5300 block of South Shields Avenue for the last two years, prosecutors said at a hearing Tuesday at which Strowder was ordered held in lieu of $600,000 bail. On Sunday night, Strowder found CDs inside the home containing images of nude women and lost control, authorities said.

Ding-dang-diggity! That’s some freaky scary stuff, right men?

[tags]Pr0n for disaster[/tags]

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30 years of very stupid monsters

As I began reading this long eassy on many of the stupid animals in the Dungeons and Dragons universe, I really wanted to hate it. The article begins with a two-paragraph long wall of text. I don’t care much for the font, text-size, nor color combination of the page. The background is too busy. His dismissal of Dungeons and Dragons comes off as snooty. But damn if I didn’t find the write-up quite entertaining.

stench-kow.jpgDespite the clever misspelling, you’re looking at an evil cow that stinks. Even better, read the first sentence there. “Cattle of the Nine Hells.” Smelly cows from hell. Awesome.

. . .

Sometimes, when its your job to be creative, you really don’t want to be. Take Werewolves for instance. Every fantasy game seems to have them. But after a while, an author wants to leave his mark. He wants to add a twist that no one’s thought of. In Dungeons and Dragons, this is often see by simply reversing the word “Werewolf” so that it cleverly appears as “Wolfwere”. Since this was done a long time ago, later writers would have to add their own novelty to the were-act. So in come were-foxes, were-sloths (no kidding), were-bears, and other fun little crossbreeds. And then people thought they’d be original and call a wolf that turns into a man a “Wolfwere”. That only started someone onto the path of doomed…well…check this out:

Continue reading “30 years of very stupid monsters”

Crazy news items

Just a handful of news items (some old but still interesting) that might make you ask WTF?

  • A special kind of stupid – drug dealer style:

    Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

    But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go – until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.

  • A southern-style ass-kicking sans arms:

    Police are investigating the death of a man who collapsed after he was head-butted by an armless man in a fight over a woman.

  • An apparent question of insufficient medical expertise and examination:

    A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

  • Cookies design to make your breasts grow:

    Ladies, are you self-conscious about your breasts? Do you think they need to be bigger to get you attention from guys, or at least from guys like Charlie White? Well, you could have expensive and gross breast implant surgery, or you could just grab some F Cup cookies from Japan. These sure-to-be-effective cookies apparently make your breasts bigger when you eat just two a day, while most cookies will just make your ass bigger. See a close-up of the box after the jump.

  • Emotional trauma from not winning the lottery? Try actually buying a ticket, dumb-ass:

    A Dutch woman who claimed she suffered emotional damages due to not winning the lottery missed the jackpot in court too.

    Amsterdam District Court judges Wednesday rejected the claim of Helene de Gier, who said she was traumatized by not winning the country’s National Postcode Lottery, which she didn’t enter, while her neighbors did.

  • One of the worst dog bites you can suffer – at least, if you are extra stupid:

    A naked man was bit in the genitals by a police dog while being arrested for running nude and entering homes in a Minneapolis neighborhood.

    . . .

    While the officer was ordering the suspect out of the house, the suspect began hitting him, police said.

    The dog, which was still leashed, bit the suspect to protect the officer.

And honestly, this is the kind of posting that could be put together every day, and with a greater number of entries, and we’d still only see a handful of the stupids that we suffer through in this country.

[tags]Stupid, WTF, Crazy news[/tags]

Vigilantes kill the wrong person

Knoxville.  My old stomping grounds.  Seems some hicks near Knoxville found out they had a child-oriented sex-offender and decided to send him a message.  Unfortunately, the message they sent him involved his wife dying in a fire.

Everybody in this little mountain community knew that Timothy Carl Chandler had been arrested on child pornography charges. It was in the newspaper and all over the TV news.

Two of Chandler’s neighbors decided to do something about it, police say. They’re accused of trying to scare him off by setting fire to his tiny house tucked away in a hardscrabble Appalachian hollow.

Chandler, 53, escaped from the flames. But his wife was killed in what authorities are calling an example of vigilante justice.

Ahem – that is, allegedly dying in a fire, or something like that.  Wouldn’t want to poison the jury pool.

[tags]Stupid, Vigilante justice fail, Drinkin FTL![/tags]

More on the stupid – don’t game so damn much

It’s a little embarrassing how much of a work-out the stupid category is getting here on the Blahg, yet I’m realizing I should have instituted it earlier. Hell, I might need to start StupidBlahg just to track all the stupid in the world these days.

That said, here’s a new story of stupid, that, sadly, is something of a repeat of stupid like we’ve seen before. This time we have news of a man in China who died after a 3-day gaming marathon in an internet café.

A Chinese man dropped dead after playing Internet games for three consecutive days, state media said on Monday as China seeks to wean Internet addicts offline.

The man from the southern boomtown of Guangzhou, aged about 30, died on Saturday after being rushed to the hospital from the Internet cafe, local authorities were quoted by the Beijing News as saying.

And I know it’s unkind and maybe a bit politically incorrect to call this man stupid, but I don’t know how else to call it. I love gaming, but even I know to get my fat ass away from the computer every once in a while and do something else. (via Wired’s Game|Life blog)

[tags]Man dies after gaming marathon, Stupid, Gaming addiction?[/tags]

Unopened rebate forms found in dumpster

You’ve bought your cool new gadget. You cut out the UPC. You fill out the rebate form. You photocopy everything you are sending in. You sent it all, wisely chosing registered mail so you know when it was delivered. And yet, you still don’t ever get your rebate. WTF?

Well, maybe somebody threw out your submission along with those from your 1299 closest friends?

unopenedrebates.jpg

This is a picture of the 1,300 unopened rebate forms a Mercury News reporter found in a dumpster near Vastech, a rebate processor for Fry’s Electronics.

When confronted, the company’s owner blamed it on a lazy employee who no longer works for Vastech and offered to process and sign checks for all of the envelopes in front of the reporter.

Reminds me of the scandal years back where so many Publisher’s Clearing House entries were found in the trash. Unfortunately, I cannot find a link to anything about that scandal, so you’ll have to either remember the issue yourself or trust my increasingly faulty memory.

I suppose this could explain why, nearly 9 years later, I’m still awaiting 2 rebate checks from CompUSA for memory and a hard drive. I’m starting to suspect I won’t actually get them, CompUSA contacts’ assurances to the contrary.

[tags]Unprocessed rebates, Consumerist, Rebates[/tags]

More news of the stupid

We’re all stupid at some point in our lives.  Simple things like putting batteries in the correct way sometimes eludes even the best of us.  But when you are going to rob a bank, be sure to use your smartest brain cells.

He told the teller not to do anything stupid.0816dimbulb_mug

Too bad the bank robber didn’t take his own advice.

After he robbed a Bank of America on West Hillsborough Avenue last December, court records say, Etni Ortiz left his resume behind — dropped it, actually, when the bank’s dye pack exploded. Police found it outside the bank in a pile of dye-stained money. There were also photos, one of Ortiz. The picture, too, was stained with red dye.

Nine days later, Ortiz robbed First State Bank at 5700 Clark Road in Sarasota, according to documents on file in U.S. District Court.


Well, so much for that spree.  I think the resume is a stroke of genius in a way, though.  Now, someone can help him properly update it so he can find a better job.  They probably will also coach him to leave “Failed bank-robber” off the skills section, though.  Maybe just put something like “Escaped bank premises with over $3000 in two robberies” without highlighting the getting caught nor leaving behind a resume bit.  Hell, this makes me think I should start a bad criminal resume writing service.

[tags]Stupid criminals, Stupid, Bank robbery, Idiot, Moron, Resume writing skills, Dumb crook, Stupid robber[/tags]

Please *DO NOT* buy BioShock

I started downloading the BioShock demo Monday night and went to bed while the download completed. I loaded the demo Tuesday morning, played for about 5 minutes, and bought the game – the demo is awesome enough to convince me the whole game will be great, and I love Irrational’s work that I’ve played in the past. I did not have a chance to install it before leaving for work Tuesday afternoon, nor Wednesday during the day. However, I did find this interesting Digg about the shitty copy protection on the game and regretted immediately that I have already opened the game and cannot, therefore, return it. Quite the dry-hump, really, because the game is great. But I disapprove highly of companies trying to fuck me or my computer.

Last year, I bought Galactic Civilizations specifically because the developer made a point to not put copy protection on the game. It is the kind of game I would play if I had more gaming time in my life, but I’ve yet to open the game or install it. I purchased it just to show support for developers and distributors who trust customers. BioShock, on the other hand, comes from either a developer or a publisher (I suspect the latter, but cannot rule out the former) who apparently assumes customers are only interested in giving away as many copies as possible. The sad thing is, gamers who buy the game are now screwed by potentially harmful copy protection, while the pirates still get it for free and without copy protection messing up their computers. Basically – screw legitimate customers and fans without slowing down folks that weren’t going to pay anyway.

From someone claiming some relationship to 2K Games:

really, the only people who will be concerned about any of these security measures are those who are rapidly putting bioshock on many pcs… if you use the game as you normally do, you won’t notice this at all.

Well, them and those of us who don’t like companies installing things on our systems without our knowledge. But then, we’re just weird like that. I get pissed when a program puts itself off my Programs section of the start menu instead of letting me set the submenu I want to use. I sure as hell am not OK with a program that installs drivers without giving me the option to instead choose to not install. This is the same crap Sony pulled recently which pissed off so many. And to write it off as not a big deal and not a concern except for those attempting to illegally use the disc is stupid, naïve, and ignorant of geek and gamer culture.  I have looked all over the outside of the box, and there is no mention of this violation of my computer, so I can’t decide to *NOT* buy the game based on this knowledge after looking at the box. I’ve read the manual and found no mention of this, so I can’t choose to *NOT* install the game and avoid this. Ultimately, we choose to install one program, and another gets installed without our knowledge and without warning to us that it will happen.

I will be downloading the hacked version off a torrent site to install the game and play. Once I’m finished and ready to remove the program, I’ll be selling my copy on Ebay. You can be sure I’ll mention the apparent effort to restrict personal use of the program when I list it.

Make no mistake – this is a great developer with a great game. The copy protection pisses me off, though, and it’s bad enough for me to recommend that others not buy the game.

[tags]Do not buy BioShock, 2K Games hates legal customers, 2K Games encouraging piracy, BioShock, Securom, Securom sucks, Torrent sites[/tags]

You know, I’m not even sure that’s illegal around here…

When you catch someone digging up a corpse for the purpose of, ummmm, getting it on with the dead, what do you do?  Turns out that in Wisconsin, they don’t do much at all.

Three men who dug up a young woman’s corpse to have sex with it after seeing her obituary photo cannot be charged with attempted sexual assault because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, an appeals court ruled Thursday.

A judge was correct to dismiss the charges against twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 21, because lawmakers never intended to criminalize sex with a corpse, the District 4 Court of Appeals said in a 3-0 ruling.

Guess I’ll have to start making fun of Wisconsin almost as I make fun of Arkansas now.

[tags]Necrophilia, Overlooked laws, Get it on with the dead, Corpse hunting for fun and sexx0ring[/tags]

Woman calls cops about her fake drugs

More news that makes us happy to have our “Stupid” category now on the Blahg. In Georgia, a woman called the cops for help getting money back because her crack cocaine wasn’t good enough to suit her tastes.

Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine, according to police reports.

She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were “fake.”

I guess one should be wary of $20 crack rocks, now. (via boingboing)

[tags]Drug buy gone bad, Cops help buyer of bad crack to jail[/tags]

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Can’t see in the gas tank? Light a match

Sure, that sounds like a stupid move, but if it didn’t happen, we wouldn’t feel the need to cover it here, would we?

An 18-year-old man was severely burned Thursday after he lit a flame while trying to steal gasoline from a riding lawnmower.

. . .

At one point, they decided they needed more light, so one of them ignited burning materials, according to Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Inspector Gregg Schetter. The gasoline then exploded, Schetter said.

And that, dear friends, is why we added the ‘Stupid’ category to the Blahg.

[tags]Stupid, Light a match, Stealing gas[/tags]