Category: Stupid

OK, so the actual story from Home Depot isn’t a “Please steal from us” letter. Rather, it is an article about three employees getting fired for violating company policy that says employees are not to stop shoplifters nor call police to report a shoplifter.

A former Home Depot employee said the company fired him and three other workers because they helped police catch several suspected shoplifters in May.

. . .

Midwest City police said the men helped officers catch suspected shoplifters as they tried to run from a store with lawn equipment.

An internal memo from Home Depot outlines that associates cannot accuse, detain, chase or call the police on any customer for shoplifting. However, one of the fired employees said the company is selective in enforcing that policy.

I’ll agree with Andrew Kantor, my source for this article – Home Depot cannot have intended to announce to the world that they prohibit employees from stopping shoplifters or calling police.

[tags]Home Depot to America – please steal from us[/tags]

Great commentary by a man caught driving drunk on the way to his hearing for previously driving drunk:

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) – HARRISBURG – A man charged with drunken driving on the way to a drunken driving hearing said he probably will have to quit drinking.

I’d say there’s a 70%, maybe 75% chance he’s right.

[tags]Dumb criminal news, Man driving drunk to hearing for previously driving drunk[/tags]

In case you haven’t been keeping up, on June 29^th you can get your iPhone, provided you don’t mind getting stuck with a 2 year contract on a version 1.0 $600 cell phone. Hey, I’ll admit I could be wrong about how well this product will perform in the market, but to exceed my expectations, I think the market will need to be filled with idiots or folks with too much money for their own good.

During an onscreen demonstration of the iPhone in Apple’s sprawling retail store here recently, an employee, clad in a black T-shirt, of course, surprised a potential customer.

Nonplused, the customer stammered, “You mean it’s a cellphone, too?”

Hmmmmmm. My idiots prediction might just be what Jobs is counting on for high market penetration. I guess I could just be wrong due to the cult of Apple that keeps growing. Oh, yeah, there’s also this:

Most analysts believe that Apple will easily exceed its initial goal of selling 10 million phones by the end of next year.

“It will be just 1 percent of the handset market,” said Jagdish Rebello, director of wireless communications research at iSuppli, a market research firm based in El Segundo, Calif. “But it is essentially shifting the balance of power into the hands of the mobile device manufacturers.”

That has a high probability for proving my prediction wrong, too. I could have sworn I read that Jobs was aiming for 10% of the market. Well, I may turn out to be the idiot here – 1% is too easy given the hype surrounding this.

[tags]Official iPhone launch date[/tags]

If you can’t sing, here’s an anecdote which suggests you shouldn’t sing videoke in public.

For singing out of tune, a jobless man was shot dead by a security guard of a videoke bar at the height of an argument in San Mateo, Rizal Tuesday night.

The victim, Romy Baligula, 29, was shot in the chest and was pronounced dead on arrival in a local hospital.

. . .

When Baligula started to sing, Ortega even danced to the tune. But when the song progressed, the suspect reportedly commented that the victim was out of tune, triggering a verbal tussle.

So, um, don’t sing if you can’t. Some people just lack the willpower to be non-violent critics.

[tags]Bad karaoke results in dead singer[/tags]

I’ve mentioned it before, but every time I read a story like this one, I’m reminded of a cow-orker who told me that most criminals aren’t that smart. Looks like again he is proven right.

A Rockford couple who called police to investigate a burglary at their home ended up being arrested on drug charges.

According to the Metro Narcotics Unit, officers investigating a burglary in the 5000 block of Vineyard Lane on Wednesday found more than 100 marijuana plants in the basement.

How? I can’t even conceive of being so stupid as to call that one in, and I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my time. (via Blog of Stupidity)

[tags]Marijuana growers call cops about home burglary – arrested[/tags]

Well, isn’t litigation wonderful? If your doctor hurts your feelings, it looks like you can sue for damages – at least, if you live in the UK.

UK patient: doc hurt my feelings by telling me to quit smoking

And she wins about $80,000 (plus attorneys’ fees) for her hurt feelings. Mrs. G delayed her caesarean a few minutes to have a pre-op cigarette; her coughing made her epidural more difficult, and Mrs. G and was criticized by anesthesiologist Dr. A, who noted the increased likelihood of surviving to see her daughter’s wedding if Mrs. G quit smoking. (Arthur Martin, “Doctor’s smoking jibe wins mother £44,000 payout”, Daily Mail, Dec. 21; Kevin MD blog). UK medical compensation has grown 30,000 percent in under ten years.

The article continues with a story about a man fired for missing too much work. But it wasn’t as interesting to me as this one. The above story does remind me of the wonderful lady who worried about the effect of nearby jackhammers on the health of her unborn child. (via Blog of Stupidity)

[tags]Woman sues doctor who hurt her feelings – wins[/tags]

There are times I read things that I have to check the calendar and see if it is April 1^st. Today, I saw such a story. When I realized that today is not the day for such trickery, I figured I had to pass it on so either of my visitors today would know what is coming.

Sunset Tan (E!, Sundays at 10:30 p.m. ET) is a six-episode reality series of such superlative vapidity that it seems right on the edge of mutating into some toxic new breed of media experience.

. . .

As Nick says, “Ka-ching!” The staff and ownership of Sunset Tan are highly stimulated by their proximity to celebrity-“I can’t believe Lisa gets to spray Britney Spears!”-despite the fact that one might expect to have just as many run-ins with the rich and famous at the In-N-Out Burger in Westwood. One extended and alarming brush with celebrity features the “olly girls,” Holly and Molly, who, with their two heads put together, are still, amazingly, the dumbest person on a staff. Holly and Molly doll themselves up and come into work, unpaid, on their day off, because a star is coming in. That star is Chris Kattan. To his credit, he’s disturbed by this behavior.

I debated on that second paragraph whether to put the Holly and Molly quote to emphasize the stupid or use the paragraph that includes “it could turn into an especially misogynistic deep-throat spectacle” in it. I chose the former, leaving you to read the article to find the latter. I will say, however, that the unused paragraph does not say what you might expect from that quote.

[tags]More on American stupidity, Heading deeper in the well of stupid[/tags]

Famous person dies. Big funeral is planned. Lots of adoring followers/believers plan to attend. Lots of protesters will also probably attend – most likely with plans to disrupt the funeral – given who the subject in question is. One nut plans to bomb the protesters. Hey, bombing people who disagree with your point of view is a bit stupid. But bombing protesters when the funeral is for well-known, recently deceased Christian Jerry Falwell seems stupid and, well, rather un-Christian. Certainly not the kind of thing you’d expect from a Liberty University student either, is it?

A first-year Liberty University student was arrested in what police said was a plot to detonate explosive devices Tuesday, the day of the Rev. Jerry Falwell’s funeral.

Mark David Uhl’s intended target is unknown, authorities said.

ABC News reported the youth told authorities he had made the bombs — which were found in his car — to stop protesters from disrupting Falwell’s funeral. (Read the story about Falwell’s funeral)

Continue reading “Of course, the nuts are everywhere”