Hot-dog king throwing in the towel

Blaming arthritis, hot-dog eating champion Kobayashi is calling it quits after the July 4th competition next week. His downfall? Arthritis in his jaw.

He described the affliction as an “occupational hazard” that has all but crushed his hopes of defending his title at the Nathan’s Famous July Fourth International Hot Dog Eating Contest, in New York next week. The diminutive Mr Kobayashi, 29, first outgobbled his most voracious American rivals at the speed and volume event seven years ago.

. . .

Yet in an emotional entry on his blog, Mr Kobayashi revealed that his rigorous training regime, which involves stretching his stomach with large quantities of cabbage and water, had left his mouth all but paralysed.

. . .

He goes on to berate himself for not accepting the inevitable sooner. “I feel so ashamed that I didn’t hear the alarm bells ringing in my own body,” he writes, “but with the aim of winning the title and setting a new record in my head, I couldn’t stop my training regime so close to the competition.”

Like a professional athlete, he pushed his body beyond the bounds that constrain us non-competitive eaters. He asked too much for too long from his body, and now his body is biting back.

Nope. Just can’t make it sound like the downfall of a real athlete, can I? Sure, I can’t eat 53 hot dogs in 12 minutes, but I wouldn’t want to, either. On the other hand, competing on American Gladiators? Well, no, not that either.

[tags]Arthritis of the jaw, Choking down weiners hurts champion’s jaw, Kobayashi downed by arthritis[/tags]

Wow, such a pretty kitty

Not really. It’s a pretty gaudy kitty. But I know some folks have a serious boner for “Hello, Kitty” stuff. And I get my chuckles out of posting these so people can go “zOMG!” in response.

itty_bitty_kitty_lappy.jpg

If I’m reading the page right, that’s nearly 200,000 yen, which runs a bit over $1600 at current exchange rates. Of course, since I can’t actually read the page, I’m guessing that price is in yen.

[tags]Hello kitty, Itty bitty pretty kitty lappy?[/tags]

The Mexi-cannon

A cow-orker shared this product idea with me, and I figured I needed to pass it on. I know this will offend someone (and likely many someones), but I laughed enough to risk that. Bear witness to the Mexi-Cannon. It does just what you’d think.

Illegal Mexicans got you down? You’d like to deport them, but think of all the paperwork and the long drive to toss them over the border.

But now, deporting Mexicans is as easy as saying “Go home, invader!” if you use…

mexi-cannon1.jpg

Continue reading “The Mexi-cannon”

I smells a h0axor!

Since I’m enjoying the whole LOLcat phenomenon so much, I feel obligated to point out the origins of LOLcat, as told by Ape Lad.

bb-lolcat_origin.jpg

Not many people know this, but my great grandfather Aloysius “Gorilla” Koford, was also a cartoonist. From 1912-1913 he produced a comic strip which was featured in 17 newspapers, including the Philadephia Star-Democrat, the Tampa Telegraph, and the Santa Fe Good-Newser.

The strip was entitled “the Laugh-Out-Loud Cats” and featured the exploits of one Meowlin Q. Kitteh (a sort of cat hobo-raconteur) and his young hapless kitten friend, Pip. The strip did not last long due to a run-in my great-grandfather had with none other than William Randolph Hearst.

I believe this is one of the finest secondary effects of an interpipe meme, and hope others jump on the bandwagon. (via boingboing, which links to additional origins stories)

[tags]The origin of LOLcats, LOLcats can has beginning here?[/tags]

More career training from the past

Oh, will I ever get tired of the awesomeness that is Modern Mechanix? The latest handy helper from the past that we know about from Modern Mechanix is this advertisement for cartoon training, which looks to be a correspondence course.

MM-med_cartooning.jpg

CARTOONING – Taught by 9 Professionals
A new idea in cartooning schools -45 lessons by NINE Famous Professionals:-Boltinoff, Lariar, Nofziger, Roir, Ross, Roth, Salo, Schus and Wolfe. Over 2,000 instruction Drawings! Course includes: Comic Strips, Magazine, Sport, Politicals, Animals, Advertising, Book Illustration, CUTE GIRLS, etc. Your homework criticized by all 9 famous teachers. 2 years to finish.
Approved for Veterans.
Dept. PM

The PROFESSIONAL SCHOOL OF CARTOONING, INC. 505 Fifth Avenue, New York 17, N. Y.
FREE Criticism of one of your cartoons- send 10c to cover mailing charges.

I think the “Approved for Veterans” part refers to military vets, and not pet doctors. Not that there is anything wrong with the doctor who cares for your pet drawing cartoons. I just thought I’d try to clear that up for those not sure who is the target audience.

For the record, the answer to the opening question is, of course, a most emphatic no. I mean, how could one ever tire of greatness in a single URL?

[tags]Modern Mechanix and vocational training[/tags]

Free Paris!!!

She shouldn’t be locked up. She’s a role model for young people all around the world! Won’t somebody please think of the children!!!

Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton is backing an online petition seeking a pardon of her 45-day prison sentence because she enlivens “mundane” lives.

The petition to California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger also claims she was being used as a scapegoat to highlight the dangers of drink-driving.

Hilton was sentenced after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction.

And my favorite bit from the story regarding the online petition:

It also draws parallels between other high-profile US figures who were forgiven for their misdeeds.

“If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake,” it says.

I’d be more critical of media outlets for covering crap like this were it not for the fact that I just wasted 30 seconds out of the lives of every person who reads this here. I’m cognizant of that kind of irony.

[tags]Free Paris, Paris deserves same pardon consideration as Nixon?[/tags]