Insensitivity

From a former cow-orker:

We all have heard of people talking about so-called “towel heads”. This is quite insensitive; it is also wrong.

You see, what they wrap around their heads is not a towel but, rather, more like a little sheet.

And so let us not be insensitive and call them “towel heads”. Let us be sensitive indeed and instead call them “little sheet heads”.

Thank you.

I support this message of sensitivity.

Woman arrested for DWI, mysteriously bleeds profusely while interrogation video off

Potentially disturbing video warning.

This is a video of a woman being processed in a police interrogation room after an arrest for DWI. Mysteriously, at one point during the processing, the video camera is turned off. When it is turned back on, the woman is lying in a pool of her own blood, and shortly afterwards taken away on stretcher to the hospital.dwi-beating.jpg She ends up with two black eyes, two broken teeth, bruises, and, as noted, loss of lots of blood.

The officer has been fired, but is appealing the firing. His attorney claims the officer turned of the tape …in accordance with normal practice. So far, I’ve found no explanation of what normal practice leads to turning off video taping while processing an arrestee. I suspect it is something like “When beating someone, it is normally wise to do so where no video evidence nor eye witnesses can be used against use.” I could be wrong, though – that’s just a theory. The officer explains what happened, thankfully. Again, through the officer’s attorney:

The suspect again tried to leave the room. In the process of stopping her, she fell and injured herself.

I can’t recall the last time I fell while someone tried to stop me from going through a door and I ended up in the condition shown above, but maybe you other folks can help me out on this one.  Anyone got a similar experience where you fell about 10 feet away from the door you are trying to go through (at least, that’s about what it loos to me in the video) and ended up with such injuries?

[tags]DWI, Police, She fell down[/tags]

Lifting squirrels

From the xkcd blag (I’m a Blahgger, he’s a blagger – we just don’t want to fit in with those filthy bloggers, I guess) comes this fascinating look at using lasers to lift squirrels in to space.photon_squirrel.png Amazingly enough, without taking advantage of reflection, the method described uses the Doc Brown approved 1.21 gigawatts of energy to lift a squirrel. Using a sufficiently focused beam of light along with properly placed lasters, that power requirement can be cut a few orders of magnitude, down around 1 megawatt. dyson_sphere_diagram.jpgThis is a far less interesting number, but much more economically feasible. Understand I’m all for using gross amounts of power to lift squirrels in to outerspace, but I realize the country might not share my willingness to drain from the entire power grid for such a useful pursuit.

Nicely, the blag post transcends merely levitating squirrels, advancing to such necessary topics as generating lasers from the sun, tying them together via Dyson sphere manipulation to create a death ray, and sending a message to our celestial neighbors.

Why settle for interstellar communication when you can have interstellar war? And we could modulate the beam to carry a message — in this case, “FUCK YOU GUYS!”

And ultimately, isn’t that the real purpose of advancing laser studies? Inter-stellar war and Parisian-level offense directed at other galactic entities? Well, that and frikkin’ shark/laser hybrids.

[tags]xkcd, blag, lasers, 1.21 gigawatts, squirrels, frikkin’ shark, Dyson sphere, death[/tags]

On killers named Wayne

I frequently find fodder for my other, briefer blog from my regular News of the Weird emails, but rarely use the weird news on the Blahg. A recurring theme in those emails is the improbably high number of killers whose middle name is Wayne. Being a middle-name-is-Wayne kind of guy, I just like to know to whom I am being compared on the oddities scale. With that information, you can probably understand why I’d want to post a News of the Weird image of 3 guys who killed a store owner in a shooting:

which_is_wayne.jpg

{democracy:6}

Can you guess which one has the middle name of Wayne just from the picture? Read the full article to check your answer.

[tags]News of the Weird, Middle name is Wayne, Guess the Wayne[/tags]

Lasers are old, you know?

I’m not really sure when the brilliant hybrid of frikkin’ sharks and laser-beams came about, but it’s pretty clear from this 1963 article on cutting wood with a beam of light that the frikkin’ sharks didn’t yet have frikkin’ laser-beams on their frikkin’ heads – at least, not in popular culture. There was probably an underground cult-like movement with such creatures. I envision them hosting frikkin’ shark fights in frikkin’ pools in frikkin’ secret underground cabins. All before Michael Vick was even born, most likely.

mm-med_laser_cut_wood.jpgA new technique in woodworking may be on the way. The University of Michigan has developed a tool that cuts through maple and other hardwoods with bursts of light that act like the science-fiction writers’ disintegrating-ray gun. The experimental drill operates with a laser (light amplification by stimulated electron radiation) head that contains a coiled xenon flash tube and a ruby rod. It builds up intensely hot light pulses, focuses them through a lens to vaporize a hole in a block of wood instantly without leaving char. It’s not ready yet for the home workshop.

I have a theory, in fact, that the young man pictured there is the inventor of the frikkin’ shark/laser hybrid, although I haven’t worked out all the details yet.

[tags]Sharks, laser-beams, cutting wood, wood, laser, frikkin’, Modern Mechanix[/tags]

Beef recall? Can it *really* be that bad?

So, maybe you’ve heard about the huge, nation-wide beef recall? Maybe you don’t know just why this is happening. And maybe you are wondering, well just how bad could it really be?

A disturbing video of cows too sick to walk being pulled to their feet by chains in order to pass slaughterhouse inspections has prompted the largest recall of beef in American history.

. . .

The undercover footage, obtained by the Humane Society of the United States, shows workers kicking crippled cows, spraying them with water and using electric shocks, trucks and chains to force the cattle to walk and pass USDA inspection.

. . .

The recall covers beef produced since February 2006 and distributed nationwide to wholesalers for use in products such as burrito filling, meatballs and sausage.

Of course, a lot, probably most of the beef in question has already been consumed. But if you weren’t already wary of beef, maybe this will help you to think about your food before you buy it. I love me some beef, but I rarely eat it any more. This recall is making me appreciate not having any lately.

Oh, and why the hell is it that the best story I can find about a US product recall is from a British news site?

[tags]Beef, Recall, USDA, Mmmmm[/tags]